THE MAINLANDER

(A mainlander is anyone who is not a Newfoundlander.) This is a hypothetical story used in a jovial way to combat the Newfie joke. I told this story at the Newfoundland Pavilion at Caravan 1976, in Toronto.

The Federal Government and C.N. got fed up with the Newfoundlanders complaining about losing their passenger train "The Bullet" and getting in return a very unsatisfactory bus service. They decided to come to Newfoundland and construct a new wide gauge railway with passenger coaches and everything accordin' to.

When it was completed six or seven of C.N.'s executives came to St. John's to make the maiden voyage across our island.

Well, things went very well. The executives were leaning back in their parlour chairs enjoying their drinks and one had just said:

"Well, this will shut the Newfs up."

But right then, about 100 miles out from St. John's, the train took a terrible buck and went from side to side, rolling and rocking. But after a minute of this, it all stopped as suddenly as it began.

The conductor was going through the train a few minutes later, and one of the executives called him:

"What went wrong back there a few miles?"

CONDUCTOR: "Nothing to that, Skipper."

EXECUTIVE: "What do you mean nothing to that. We all thought we would be killed."

CONDUCTOR: "We only hit a mainlander, b'y."

EXECUTIVE: "What is the difference between hitting a is mainlander and a Newfoundlander?"

CONDUCTOR: "Aw, yes, Skipper. but this one was twenty yards from the tracks. BUT WE GOT 'IM ANYWAY!"